November Rain of Gratitude – Day 23

Shit happens. And when it does I’m grateful there is the modern convenience of toilet paper. Please don’t think I’m overlooking the benefits of indoor plumbing. I’m not. Been a big fan of indoor plumbing. However, when indoor plumbing isn’t an option for miles and miles hiking through a forest or taking a road trip, I’m fairly certain that when the proverbial breakfast burrito hits the fan, we’ll all want to clean up without a rash, scratches, or dingle-berries after tending to nature’s necessities. Toilet paper is the 5-star option considering the preceding alternatives listed on Wikipedia when people wiped themselves with wool, lace or hemp, while less wealthy people used their hand when defecating into rivers, or cleaned themselves with various materials such as rags, wood shavings, leaves, grass, hay, stone, sand, moss, water, snow, maize, ferns, may apple plant husks, fruit skins, or seashells, and corncobs, depending upon the country and weather conditions or social customs. I’m not going to go into the deficient attributes of each, I’m simply going to express my gratitude to the toilet paper providers. Thank you. Thank you for making a world where I’m not wiping with wood shavings or conch shells. I’m not sure I would want to know a world without Beavis seeking TP for his bunghole.