Category Archives: Zombie October
Happy Zombiween! – Zombie 31
I’m afraid we weren’t strong enough in the end. I was bitten. Moments after learning that it all started during World War II and the true whereabouts of one major douche of an antichrist, I felt soft familiar lips with a foreign agenda. My wife of nearly a year, now a zombie, ripped into my torso and took the rib she so justly deserved. As I lay here typing these final words before my horrific end I can’t help but feel a euphoric peace for all mankind. How ironic that in the end everyone gets what they want. Money no longer matters. No politics. Unwanted pregnancy is at an all time low. Real estate mortgage crisis is solved. No debates about citizenship. Divorce is non-existent. Everyone on the planet has eternal life if they follow their passion…brains. And in the grand scheme of things, we’re all the same race, Zombie. Happy Halloween!
I should have known who started this – Zombie 30
Ummmm… Think the video pretty much says it all… We’re doomed!
Happiest Place on Earth… for Zombies! – Zombie 29
Don’t know what we were thinking yesterday!! While it was fun to ride space mountain one last time, I’m not sure we’re going to make it out of here alive. We thought the endless human sea of scooter riding obese and aged people would prove to be a good Darwinian shield, but man can they hustle after they’ve been infected! I sure hope they don’t learn how to start the Ferris wheel back up. Too late. Slowly heading toward ground. This must be what orange chicken feels like on a lazy-susan. This could be my last…
It’s the Stay Puft Marshmallow Zombie – Zombie 28
“I tried to think of the most harmless thing, something I loved from my childhood, something that could never ever ever possibly destroy us…” Well smooth move, Ray!! Zool’s Zombie is back with a hunger for your parapsychology rambling brain and the rest of us when he’s done downloading Tobin’s Spirit Guide from your left temporal lobe. You didn’t happen to bring enough unlicensed particle accelerators for everyone did you?
Who wants to play Cowboys & Zombindians? – Zombie 27
A month from today we’ll look back on this whole zombie pandemic and give thanks we survived it as we dine on a bountiful feast of turkey and stuffing just as the pilgrims did centuries ago. Unfortunately, today I am surrounded by a cornucopia of red-eyed, brain thirsty zombindians that want my scalp… and probably a nullification of the Louisiana purchase. Ruuuuuun!!!
Holy Hump Day Human Centipede Zombie Horror, Batman! – Zombie 26 – 3D (Triple Douche)
Not even the caped crusader could have prevented this hellish vision. Turns out the devil has a sense of humor after all. He’s making a human centipede out of the last three tyrannical turds to bite the dust!! That’s not the best part though… he’s leaving the order of the flow to the sorting hat. Too bad Saddam, no dibs on the front.
All in favor of the new member of OUR GANG say Aaaarrrrggghhhhoooo-taaay! – Zombie 25
Otay! It’s a wrap!! I’m all for equality in spreading this zombie infection around but you straight trippin raising Buckwheat from the grave to chase my cracker-ass. You have any idea what psychological affects this is gonna do to my Saturday morning memories? I always wanted to be a little rascal, not have to put an axe through the greatest afro of all time! I hope we find a cure soon. Incidentally, say there is a cure and everything goes back to normal, does this count as an official Hollywood pitch for The Little Zombie Rascals?
Baby, baby, baby…OUCH! – Zombie 24
Somebody get me a thermometer that can read the level of this mutated Bieber Fever on display! The last girl that called him a heartthrob literally had her heart throbbing in this zombie’s hands before he gobbled it down as swiftly as his rise to stardom. Fortunately the world population has just tipped in the favor of zombies so I’m sure he will still be able to tour giving the vapors to young and old zombies alike. Prepare for the Zombieber Fever Tour 2012!!
Where the Red Zombie Fern Grows – Zombie 23
GADZOOKS!! How many times must mine heart be wrenched with wretched sorrowful loss?! Not four days since this gifted and joyful photographer lost his soul mate to the vile zombie infection, has the course of his heart turned to black brain-thirst frenzy. This final glimpse of the balloon crowned king of darkness was taken just moments before he was reunited with his eternal queen. Haven’t seen something quite so stomach turning as Zombie love making. Possibly the most disturbing vision to date.
We’ve Come for you All – Zombie 22
You can run but you can’t hide! These zombies are for real and they’re taking no prisoners. When these guys said they were coming for us all I didn’t realize it would be one mind melting concert at a time! Watch out Los Angeles! They’re here tonight!!
